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The Parish of St. Mary's, Alverstoke, Gosport 'Sharing God's love in the Community' |
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Marriage
As you look forward to your Wedding Day there are so many things that you need to sort out. If there is anything that you need help with as you think about the service do please ask. We will also do as much as we can to help you think through the bigger issues of what marriage means. SOME THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW:
PREPARING FOR YOUR WEDDING
YOUR CONNECTION WITH THE PARISH
You may apply to be married at St. Mary’s if at least one of you lives in the Parish of Alverstoke or regularly worships in one of our Churches. Click here to see the list of streets that are in the Parish. Streets & Buildings In St. Mary's Parish
Or if one of you has a Qualifying Connection with the Parish under the new Marriage Measure 2008 The new Marriage Measure came into effect from 1st October 2008 and a person has a Qualifying Connection with a Parish if: That person:
Or
Or
In all cases above and in all cases involving Church services – i.e. coming to/going to/attending normal church services, Baptisms, Confirmation or Marriage – this applies only to Church of England services.
If you wish to be married in the Parish of Alverstoke for any of the above qualifying reasons an Application form is available on request.
If you are not sure whether you qualify, please telephone the Parish Office, 023 9258 0551, for an appointment with one of the clergy, or visit 'Vestry Hour' in the Parish Office on Wednesday between 7.00pm to 8.00pm. (Please do not telephone during this time).
BANNS There is a legal requirement that we make sure that there are no objections to your marriage. The usual way to do this is to 'publish your banns'. This means that your names will be read out at our 10.00am Sunday Service for three weeks running on the first three Sundays of the month before your wedding. If one of you lives in another parish, your banns must be published there too. You will need to contact the Vicar there and obtain a certificate from him after their publication. It is important that you bring it to St Mary's as soon as you have it. The wedding cannot take place without the banns certificate from the other parish, so it is important that this is not overlooked. An ordinary licence, which involves extra cost, is an alternative to having banns published. It achieves the same result as banns and is needed if for example, one partner is living abroad or there is difficulty in calling banns.
MARRIAGE PREPARATION Couples arranging to be married at St Mary’s Church in Alverstoke are warmly invited to attend an afternoon in preparation for marriage. Two of these events are held each year take place; one at the end of February and the other at the end of April. Click here for more details of the day.
THE SERVICE
THE CLERGY It is always a pleasure for a member of our clergy to officiate at your wedding, but it is important for you to know that due to various parish commitments, it may not be possible for you to choose who conducts the service.
FORMS OF SERVICE We generally use the marriage service contained within Common Worship - the Church of England's form of service in modern language. You may choose the Order from the Book of Common Prayer if you wish. Do arrange to talk to a member of the clergy if you would like more information about this.
MUSIC There is a wide variety of suitable hymns and music to choose from. Scroll down or click here to see some suggested hymns and choir anthems, and here for some suggested organ music, including audio clips recorded on St. Mary’s Organ. Two or three hymns may be chosen. It is quite in order for you to choose hymns other than those listed, but if they are not in either of our hymn books (Common Praise or Songs of Fellowship) you will need to provide copies of the words for the congregation and choir, and music for the Organist. If you want the Organist to play any special music, you will need to provide him with a copy of it a month before the wedding. For a separate fee, a soloist can be engaged to sing during the signing/registration of the marriage by arrangement with the Organist. We do not have CD's played at wedding services.
BELLRINGERS We are usually able to provide a team of bellringers for your wedding day but please note that there will not be ringers available for weddings on a weekday.
READINGS AND PRAYERS Apart from music you are also very welcome to choose one or two readings (at least one of which should be from the Bible) for your wedding service, and to discuss the prayers with the person conducting the service. Do please ask if you would like some help with this.
WEDDING EUCHARIST Communicant members of the church may wish to have their wedding in the context of a Eucharist (Communion Service). If you would like to do this please ask at as early a point as possible so that we can discuss arrangements.
SERVICE SHEETS You do not need to produce your own service sheets, but most couples choose to do so. Do please ask for guidance in this. If you decide to have service sheets, please provide twenty extra copies and let us have them a week beforehand.
SOME PRACTICAL THINGS
REHEARSAL Your rehearsal will be arranged by the church secretary, (tel. 023 9258 0551), for the week prior to your wedding. Please allow some time for this. The rehearsal will usually take place at 5.00pm, 5.30pm or 6.00pm on Thursday evenings.
TIMING We try to make it possible for every couple to have the day for the wedding they first choose and this sometimes means several weddings on one day at intervals of one hour. We guarantee that the service will be dignified and unhurried, but it is important that it starts on time. If the bride is late we still have to finish at the same time in fairness to others.
PHOTOGRAPHS Photographs are allowed during the service with the agreement of the person conducting the wedding. A photograph may be taken from the ringing chamber. The Tower Captain has full authority there and the photographer should not enter the chamber while the bells are being rung.
VIDEO AND SOUND RECORDINGS A fee is charged for video recordings in church because of the Copyright Act. All video recordings taken must conform to that Act and are only permitted in church when permission has been given and a signed video application form is returned. A form is available from the church office and must be returned to the office not later than twenty-one days before the wedding. Video recordings must be taken only from a position in the side chapel or side aisle and without special lights. No unofficial or unauthorised video recordings can be permitted within the church. Most professional firms will be aware of these arrangements, but there may be occasions when a video recording is planned as a gift by relatives or friends, so please ensure that everyone connected with your wedding or blessing is aware of these details, to avoid disappointment on the day.
FLOWERS There is always an arrangement of fresh flowers on a pedestal near to the pulpit. These flowers are renewed on a weekly basis for the Sunday services (usually on a Friday or Saturday morning). You may find this acceptable for your wedding. If not you may:
NB During Advent (four weeks before Christmas) and Lent (six weeks before Easter), there are no flowers in the church. If you provide flowers at these times you must remove them before Sunday. We want your wedding to be perfect for you. We also want all of the other weddings to be perfect. It is therefore necessary for any extra flowers to be in place before the first wedding of the day commences. It will not be possible for you to remove major arrangements from the church before the end of the last wedding of the day. An arrangement on a pedestal must also always remain by the pulpit. The Co-ordinator of church flowers is Jo Fernando, tel. 023 9260 1881
USHERS It is helpful to have two ushers in church, fifteen minutes before the service to give out hymn books or service sheets. After the service they should collect any books left in the pews and any belongings guests may have left.
WITNESSES Two witnesses are needed to sign the registers. Any two people present at the service may sign; often the two fathers do this.
COSTS These fall into two categories. Statutory fees which must always be paid and fees which are only charged for extra facilities such as organ, choir, bells etc. If all these extras are arranged there are about twenty people involved. We do our best to provide up to twelve junior choristers for the choir and six or eight ringers for the bells. The fees for weddings are reviewed annually every January. For the full list of fees, please click Here. Fees should be paid in full after the 10.00am service on one of the Sundays when your banns are published. You will be notified by letter the month before.
There is a £50 non-returnable deposit required when booking a wedding date and time.
SOME SUGGESTIONS FOR SUITABLE HYMNS
SOME SUGGESTIONS FOR SUITABLE ORGAN MUSIC With a code guide to indicate where each piece might be placed in the Service: N = Entrance of Bridal Party S = Signing/Registration of Marriage X = Exit of Married Couple
USEFUL CONTACTS see our Contact Us page.
RECEPTION Having arranged your wedding ceremony, you may be thinking about where to hold the reception. St Mary's Parish Centre is available to hire, with the following advantages:
The facilities can be seen and bookings made at the office in the Parish Centre, open 9.30 to 12.00 noon, Monday to Friday; tel. 023 9258 1550. For hire costs and further details click here.
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Congratulations on your decision to get married. We are delighted if you are
planning to come to St Mary's for your Marriage service. We will do all that we
can to make sure that the occasion is a happy and meaningful one for you. We
will also pray for you both that God will bless your marriage making it rich in
mutual love, honour and comfort and that he and give you his help to carry out
the promises that you will make to one another. 
